Equadorian Woman Finds Answers to All Her Questions in Islam
She faces a lot of resistance from family members but finally embraces Islam. Viviana Espin narrates how she embraced Islam.
My name is Viviana Espin. I am from Ecuador. Life always has good and bad moments. Sometimes when I think about the past I feel a deep hole of pain. I'd like that things would have been different, maybe to have a normal family, maybe caring parents. I don't know, but I am sure everything has a reason.
My childhood was so hard, my father was a violent man, my mother was very submissive, we had financial problems, and many other things that were influencing my brother and my own mental health. In my childhood, my mom used to teach me at home some vowels, some words in English, and other things, I became so good at learning that at the age of 4, my mom decided to send me to school.
My parents sent me to study in a Catholic school. My mom liked it because she liked me to get good faith in God and also a good education. My father liked it too because this was one of the best schools in the city we lived in, and he always had been arrogant and vain so he liked to be proud with his friends telling them were I was studying.
Since the beginning, I was younger than my classmates, so they used to abuse me. They used to put bubble gum in my hair and steal my things, throw my food in the garbage and many other things.
As I was the youngest, the principal of the school decided to take care of me. So in the break time I didn't spend it in the yard with the other kids. I used to spend this time in the office of the principal or the secretary of the school. By the way, since it was a Catholic school, almost all the teachers, principal, and directors were nuns.
I started to get very close to them and they also started to appreciate me so much, that they started to let me stay with them in their homes, which already was in the land of the school. They had their house beside the school building inside the same perimeter of land.
I already was different than the rest of my neighbors and kids of my age.
My parents were divorced when I was almost 8 years old, this by far was one of the most traumatic events of my life. When I spend so much time alone in a closed place, my mind starts to fly and I start to think about things that sometimes I don't find answers to.
My mom became more religious, but she started to control me so much. Sometimes it was good, and sometimes it wasn't. I grew up always with fear, insecurity and doubts.
I started to appreciate the calm places with less noise around, but in a way to be in touch with nature. Those were the only moments I liked to be alone.
The only place in which I used to find that, was with the nuns. The school had a big green yard, so I used to lie on it and enjoy looking at the sky and feeling the wind covering me. This felt so peaceful.
The nuns appreciated me so much and I enjoyed the time with them. I also felt that the only way I could have an escape from the problems of my home, was through seeking refuge in God.
At the age of 12, I told my mom that I liked to stay in the convent with the nuns of my school and be one of them.
My mom got upset and said that she was happy that I wish to be close to God but at the same time she said that her wish is that I give her grandchildren someday, so she didn't let me join the nuns. It was already my last year with the nuns.
After the negative answer from my mom, I decided to get closer to God, study and understand better what the Bible says. After I started to read it consciously, I realized that it has many things that didn't make sense, many contradictions, and in some parts there were things that seemed to me as if the idea was not complete.
So, I felt the need to know where was the rest and the answers to my inquires that, in my view, were not clear, nor logical.
I started to read books about religions and the Internet also was so helpful to search.
I found information about Judaism, Buddhism, Agnosticism, Hinduism and Christianity itself, and different sects and so on. None of them satisfied my logic. I already was not interested in searching about Islam because of all the bad things I heard about it. But at the end, I decided to check out Islam to see what it is all about as my final option to try to find a logical answer.
The Trinity was never clear to me. So when I started to investigate into Islam I saw the answers to many of my questions. Islam made sense to me, it answered my question about the number of Gods, it clearly stated in the Quran that there was only One. This answered my questions about Jesus. I understood that the Bible had been changed and no longer was in its pristine form and I felt that finally I had found the truth.
I read briefly about Prophet Muhammad (may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him) and I found him very close to Prophet Moses (peace be upon him). Why shouldn't I believe in a last messenger from God when he had the same message that all the other prophets came with? All this made me feel that finally I had found the real religion.
Source: Arab News
